Give Someone a Second Chance When…
It’s not always easy to give someone a second chance. Perhaps the thought of your dating partner breaking your trust and staining your relationship isn’t something you could easily let go of. The amount of pain from betrayal—whether they cheated or not—is enough for some to end the relationship.
However, if you feel like your relationship still deserves another go, giving your dating partner a second chance may be a great idea. But, only do that if…
1. You are capable of fully forgiving them
Trust is vital in a relationship. If your partner has already broken your trust, it may be hard to regain it. Even when you say you do, you might raise that issue once you get mad at them as soon as some drama arises.
This is why it’s crucial to evaluate if you’re willing to put your faith in your partner again. Are you sure you’re eager to move over their past mistakes and give them a second chance? Because if you’re not, then you can forget getting back together.
Forgiving your partner for their past mistake may, most of the time, mean doing so with a clean slate. Giving them a second chance and a do-over is essential as this helps build a strong foundation for your relationship. Hence, ensure you’ve forgiven them enough that you won’t bring up their past mistakes and make them feel bad about them.
2. Love isn’t the only factor
Just because you love someone doesn’t mean you should still stay together after they’ve made a mistake. Care, admiration, and affection are essential. But, you shouldn’t overlook honesty, respect, and trust when deciding to give your partner a second chance.
Love shouldn’t be your only reason to keep going. Giving your dating partner another chance may not be ideal if love is the only thing holding you two together. Only consider giving your relationship another go if you two have a solid foundation. Ideally, that foundation should be so strong—enough to make for a contented and healthy partnership.
3. You’re still inconsolable years after the breakup
Breakups are typically painful. But after spending a few months away from your ex, you might find that freeing yourself from them seems preferable to getting back together.
However, if your heart is still in pain six months in, you might have a valid cause. Listen to your heart if it still yearns for their presence. Consider giving your relationship another go if it still mourns after your relationship’s passing. And that you’re sure it chooses your ex over the pain they brought you.
When thinking about giving your dating partner a chance, check to see whether there is anything there besides loneliness or an unproductive habit of mulling over what could have been.
4. There is still a lot of sexual chemistry
Romantic attraction and the growth of a relationship also depend on sexual desire. As one gets to know their partner better and the dynamics of their relationship change, passion may ebb and flow.
Additionally, familiarity is associated with sexual desire. This is why breaking up with your partner is so hard. You are so accustomed to their presence that you crave it.
Take it as a positive sign if you still want to kiss (or do more) after half a year or more. If passion and care are still strong, consider giving your partner a second chance.
5. They expressed regret and acknowledged their mistake
Just because your dating partner apologized for the pain they caused you doesn’t mean you let them into their lives as if nothing happened. Only give them a second chance if they have truly proved themselves worthy of your forgiveness.
Are they expressing regret for the pain they caused you? Or are they making light of whatever they did to you after a few weeks of being together again?
Also read: Eight Ways to Win Over Your Boyfriend/Girlfriend’s Chinese Mom
6. Words have less impact
Words never trump deeds. Many people have the gift of gab, and your partner may only be better at apologizing but not at actually expressing remorse.
Has your partner actually put a lot of work into earning your forgiveness? Why should you believe them if they only claim to be changing but don’t act in a way that supports this? More importantly, why should you even consider giving them a second chance?
If your partner has only performed ‘lip service,’ don’t even think about getting back together. However, if they take ownership of the situation, you can consider a chapter two for both of you.
With this, observe your dating partner’s actions rather than simply their words. Sometimes, words are worthless. Thus, accept an apology after having an open discussion about your and their perspectives.
7. They are prepared to make concessions
If your partner had an affair, are they now willing to stop seeing that person or set new boundaries?
They need to regain your trust. And one surefire way to do this is by cutting ties with that person they had an affair. By cutting ties, they need to stay away from them totally. They have to resign from their workplace if they had an affair with an officemate or move to another city if they did it with a neighbor.
You can also read: The Ultimate Guide to Chinese Engagement
You need that security and confidence that they’re not going to rekindle anything they started that shattered your connection. Otherwise, the whole asking for forgiveness state is another kind of joke. If they continue seeing their ex despite having cheated on you, there’s your answer. It’s time to end the relationship.
8. You two are committed to making it work.
In your relationship’s chapter two, you should be able to communicate openly and voice your expectations frankly while respecting each other’s privacy. Make more significant changes this time—perhaps, be more respectful and appreciative—and establish a stronger connection.
For instance, if you were not the type of couple to go on small dates or celebrate small wins, maybe it’s high time you do. Or, if you’re typically reserved, then be more expressive this time.
Should you give your partner a second chance?
The answer depends on you and the situation. How significant is their mistake? How willing are you to overlook and let go of their mistakes? Are they even ready to prove to you that your relationship deserves another go?
When deciding to give your dating partner a second chance, don’t let outside comments influence your decision. Don’t let your heart decide alone, either. You must give yourself time to think things through and decide logically.