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Things to Expect When Dating a Chinese Woman

10 February 2018


Let’s get this over with once and for all. You want to date Chinese women. We know that. But there have been so many expectations and misconceptions about these women that we don’t know what’s real and what’s not.

Difference between Chinese Women

Chinese women from mainland China are certainly different from Chinese women you’ll meet in Hong Kong, Singapore, Taiwan, or who grew up overseas. In this article, we’ll mainly focus on what to expect from dating mainland Chinese women.

  1. Chinese Women are very family oriented

    Even in the modern times and the influence of the western culture, there are some values that remain and probably will never be gone from Chinese families.

    “Family has long been a key component within Chinese society, and many aspects of Chinese life can be tied to honoring one’s parents or ancestors.”

    One of those is to have high respects to their parents, grandparents, and ancestors. Another is that Chinese women (most but not all) are still living with their parents or guardian even though they’re in their legal age. This is because they are closely knit with their families. Either they live under the same roof or somewhere just close to their hometown.

    a chinese couple with their relatives

    But when dating, their family’s opinion about you will be a huge impact on how your relationship will run. If their family’s perception of you is good, then you’re one lucky guy. But if it’s the other way around, you’ve got to show them that you’re sincere, hard-working, and could provide a good future for their daughter.

  2. Chinese women are traditional

    When you start to date Chinese women, you can expect that the most you’ll meet would be more on the traditional side.

    What is traditional for Chinese women? More likely, They expect men to take the lead. Especially when you’re going out on dates.

    a traditional chinese woman

    So plan ahead! Know where to take her, pick her up from on her place, open doors for her, pull out her chair and so on.

    This is a misconception that presents Chinese women as submissive(which they are not.) But in the Chinese dating culture, the man has to make the most effort and women are to follow the lead. But this will change in time once they show their real character when they’re more comfortable with you.

  3. Chinese women prefer to maintain a good impression

    In China, it is mostly known as “Face” (面子) which is kind of like your reputation or people’s impression of you. You can either “gain” or “lose” face depending on your status, family background, and achievements. For the Chinese people, this is very important especially in the traditional and cultural sense.

    You can learn more about it here.

    Though foreigners could mostly get away from these but the one who will lose face will be the Chinese woman that you’re with. So be careful with your actions because it will affect her.

  4. Chinese women are honest and direct

    For relationships to work, you and your partner would have to be honest and open with each other. But Chinese women take honesty to a whole new level (but in a good way.)

    If she notices there’s something wrong, she’ll tell you right away. Whether if it’s because of little things like you having barbeque sauce all over your face or needing to tuck in your shirt, she will tell you.

    This is more like she wants you to be the best version of yourself. If that’s not love, then we don’t know what is.

  5. Chinese women prefer a stable and long-term relationship

    Most Chinese women are not into casual dating and one night stands. Though not all, but most. But this will also depend on what city in China you are located and meeting women.

    a newly married long term couple

    Women in major cities like Shanghai and Beijing are more westernized so you can’t expect that every girl you’ll meet has marriage in mind. But you can expect that the women you’ll meet outside big cities are definitely into serious relationships that would most likely end in marriage.

    Relate article: Best Places in China to Meet Singles

    Bottomline is, you have to be clear about your dating preferences and talk it out with her. A good and honest discussion about what you both want in a relationship will clear things out and make things a whole lot easier.

  6. Not all Chinese Women are the same

    Every person in whatever nationality or color is unique in their own way. Though there are times that when it comes to nationality, people can have similar etiquettes and mannerisms because of the nationwide cultural influence. Which is perfectly normal.

    two chinese girls sitting in a bench

    When dating Chinese women, you can’t believe that because some are known for certain accomplishments doesn’t mean that the entire population of China are also the same. Here are some common misconceptions about dating Chinese women:

    • Just because your girlfriend is Chinese, you can’t expect that she knows how to cook every Chinese dish. Not everyone has the passion for cooking.
    • People often think that they’re submissive when in fact, they just need time to get comfortable with your presence.
    • Don’t think that all women in China are the same because they’re not. Though everyone might have some similarities because of culture, but they’re really unique from one another with different personalities and preferences.


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